


Of Mice and Murmers

by fallenandthefaithless (billys_consulting_flatmates)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bunker Fluff, Confused Castiel, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 05:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13629834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billys_consulting_flatmates/pseuds/fallenandthefaithless
Summary: Exhausted after a long series of hunts, Dean falls asleep to the sounds of an animal documentary Cas had found on television. When he wakes the next morning it's to find Cas silent and strange





	Of Mice and Murmers

**Author's Note:**

> This was so much fun to write. A big thank you to the mods of [deancas-sweetheart](http://deancas-sweetheart.tumblr.com).

It had been a long two weeks.

What had begun as a simple salt-n-burn in northern Kansas had ended up being two more cases back to back which had left them up in North Dakota and far too exhausted to return to the Bunker the same day they had finally killed the ghoul. Several late nights spent in the local cemeteries before finally catching the bastard had left Dean just wanting to collapse into the nearest bed available. Cas was holding up just a shade better while Sam, the only one who managed to catch any decent sleep since this last case had begun, was sent on a food run while Cas and Dean went straight to the motel. After taking turns in the pathetic excuse for a shower they both crashed on the beds in the main room. Dean flicked the television on though with his already heavy eyelids he doubted he’d stay awake until Sam returned let alone make it through a full episode of whatever shit program was on at this time of night.

“Can I have that?” Cas’s voice broke through Dean’s doze and he jerked awake and blinked around blearily until he saw Cas gesturing to the remote by Dean’s side.

“Sure,” he mumbled and threw the remote over to him. His aim was off and Cas only just caught it by his fingertips as it was and he sent Dean a rather lazy attempt at a glare. “You better not be putting on bees or something,” he warned, his eyes already slipping shut again and he listened to the sound of Cas flipping through channels. He almost roused himself enough to glare at Cas when he heard that British animal show presenter’s voice, speaking quietly about some kind of field mouse. He heard Cas’s bed squeak and he lifted his head slightly to see Cas rearranging himself on the bed, the remote abandoned by his side as his tired eyes fixed themselves on the screen. He was stretched out on top of the covers, a soft old tee Dean had lent him when he’d first fallen and a pair of plaid pyjama pants that slipped down his hips as he wriggled into a better position. His exhaustion must have been stronger than he’d believed it to be as Dean could feel his eyes slipping shut. The last thing he was truly conscious of seeing was the thin strip of tanned skin that was now visible above Cas’s pants.

It must have been a couple of hours later when he was jostled by someone moving his feet which pulled him sharply out of his oddly blurred dreams, something warm and soft beneath his fingers and a blur of blue that was painfully familiar. He jerked to the side, away from whoever was looming by the side of his bed, his hands immediately searching for his gun but he stilled when Cas’s voice broke the silence.

“It’s just me, Dean,” he said softly, as though he was unwilling to speak too loudly in the otherwise quiet room. The television was now off and the room was dark Dean realised and before he could ask Cas was already answering his questions.

“Sam came back two hours ago. He’s in the room next door – there’s some food leftover if you’re hungry,” he explained and Dean relaxed. He stretched and decided that food could wait until the morning. It was only then that he remembered what had woken him up in the first place.

“What’re you doin?” he mumbled and Cas smiled at him. Dean’s stomach suddenly didn’t feel as if it were in the right place but he was too tired to think too hard about how his organs were jumping around inside of him.

“Didn’t want you to get cold,” he explained and that was when Dean realised Cas was holding the edge of Dean’s blankets. He didn’t resist as Cas lifted Dean’s feet again and pulled the blanket out from under him and tugged it over Dean. Instead he watched as the ex-angel smoothed the blanket out over him, a small smile on his face and Dean could feel his eyelids drooping, exhaustion crawling along his veins until he felt himself going under. He could still sense Cas next to the bed and he smiled in his direction before closing his eyes completely.

“Night, sweetheart,” he managed to get out before he fell asleep, Cas’s hand still on the bed by his thigh.

The next morning Dean was woken abruptly by Sam throwing open their door and loudly proclaiming it was time for them to get up. Dean glared at where his brother stood by the now open window. The sight of the paper bag in Sam’s hands gave Dean enough incentive to force himself upright.

“There better be coffee over there,” he warned and Sam smiled before handing over a take-away cup. He held an identical cup out to Cas who was still lying down. Dean glanced over at him, frowning. Cas normally leapt forward at the scent of coffee but now he only turned his head and stared at it for a moment before reaching forward slowly. He glanced over at Dean but he couldn’t seem to meet his eyes. Dean tilted his head slightly, trying to ask silently if he was alright but Cas turned away.

“You okay, man?” Sam asked and Dean seconded his concern as he got a better look at Cas. He was pale and while his hair was dishevelled and he’d clearly been in bed all night, the shadowsunder his eyes spoke of a restless night.

He didn’t bother to answer Sam and instead focused on drinking his coffee, clearly not bothered by the scalding liquid as he downed half of it in only a couple of mouthfuls. Dean went slower and by the time Dean was a third of the way through his coffee Cas had finished his, refused any food Sam offered and had left the room to take a shower.

“What’s up with him?” Sam asked the moment they heard the water start running.

“No idea,” Dean said. He held the coffee cup against his leg and stared at the door where Cas had disappeared. “He was fine last night.”

“Bad dreams, maybe?” Sam asked, lowering his voice even further and Dean looked around at him. Ever since Cas had fallen his nights had been far from peaceful. While he managed a few hours of sleep a night, about four nights a week he’d wake abruptly due to bad dreams and be unable to go back to sleep. At first he’d refused to discuss what it was he saw in those dreams but after a particularly bad night Dean had found him in the kitchen and slowly Cas had caved and told him a little of what he’d dreamt. A tense, halting conversation where Cas sat on the edge of his seat later and slowly Dean had put together an idea; a thousand dead, familiar bodies and a blank mind.

That was the first night he’d found himself with his arms around Cas who shook for the first few minutes before he just slumped against Dean’s chest. It had happened a few times since; brief and broken conversations full of horrifying images, of fire and needles and sharp teeth.

Dean looked back over at the bathroom door and wondered why Cas hadn’t woken him up. It had taken a while but he’d convinced Cas to come to him if he had problems and the last couple times he’d had nightmares Dean had found the ex-angel knocking on his door in the middle of the night. And now he’d locked himself in another room without looking at Dean.

An hour later found all three of them getting into the Impala and leaving the motels car park, finally on their way home. Cas had barely spoken since he’d come out of the bathroom, merely insisting he was fine before falling silent and ignoring the rest of their questions. Dean found himself glancing at Cas in the rear view mirror every few seconds until he caught Sam watching him and he then stubbornly turned his eyes to the road.

Despite their early start on the road and only a brief lunch break, it wasn’t until late evening that the Impala came to a halt in the garage. Stiffened by sitting so long in the car, Dean climbed out of Baby and wearily accepted the bag Sam passed him. A quick glance told him Cas, while still quiet, appeared even more tired than he had at lunch when he had come close to face planting into his burger.

Without saying anything, Dean grabbed hold of Cas’s bag for him and Cas looked around at him, his eyes wide and more awake than they had looked all day. Dean attempted to smile at him but could tell it looked as awkward as it felt by the frown and look of concern that crossed Cas’s face. Dean huffed out a quiet “come on” before turning away and following Sam, who had already left the garage and the ensuing awkwardness. He could hear Cas following him through the bunker and though none of them had said anything it was obvious they were all heading for their bedrooms and calling it a night.

Dean stopped at the bedroom next to his and opened it without thinking, dropping Cas’s bag on the floor before turning to face the former angel who was standing in the doorway watching him.

“You look like crap,” he said bluntly, too tired to care and a part of him wanted to get a reaction out of Cas. His face twitched as though fighting back a scowl and then the moment passed. Instead, he tilted his head slightly and stared at Dean with more curiosity than before. It was quiet between them for a long moment and Dean shifted, starting to feel uncomfortable.

“Night then,” he said and moved forward, meaning to go around Cas and to his own room but Cas was still standing in the doorway. Dean gave him a look, his eyebrows raised and Cas slowly moved out of the way. He turned as Dean moved around him and for a second Dean considered staying, something feeling different, but he was too tired. It was probably just his imagination anyway.

He was just opening his own door when Cas spoke up from his doorway, his voice low but carrying, shaking slightly as his nerves were broadcasted for Dean to hear clearly.

“Good night, sweetheart.”

The door handle under Dean’s hand slipped out and the door snapped back into place with a loud click leaving Dean to stare blankly at his door. The hallway was almost deadly silent and Dean could barely bring himself to breathe, just in case even that slight noise broke whatever spell must have fallen over the Bunker in their absence. He forced himself to take a deep breath after a long moment and turn slowly to Cas, who was still standing there.

“What?” Dean asked, and normally he would have winced at how light his voice came out, as though all the air had left his lungs just before he spoke but right now he couldn’t care less, not with Cas looking at him, a hint of worry lurking at the edges of his eyes.

“I said good night,” he said and Dean could definitely tell Cas was far from relaxed as his voice became brittle and tense.

“No,” he said slowly. “You called me…” he hesitated, wanting Cas to fill in the blank for him instead of Dean having to actually say it but after a long pause he gave in. “…sweetheart.”

“Well,” Cas began and he could only be described as defensive now, with his shoulders hunched and a frown on his face. “You said it first, I thought I should reciprocate tonight.”

Wait. What?

Dean’s bag dropped to the floor in his shock and he tripped over it when he took a step forward. He just managed to catch himself with the help of the wall and when he looked up it was to see Cas had moved forward, his hands stretched out as though to catch Dean.

“What do you mean, I said it first? I’ve never called you – that.” His voice became louder the longer he spoke and he stared at Cas with wide eyes, watching as Cas’s cheeks darkened, his hands falling back to his sides and he looked away, embarrassment radiating off of him.

“I thought… last night…” Cas trailed off and Dean froze, casting his mind back as best as hecould. It was fuzzy at best, exhaustion smothering everything he could remember until it all slipped away into darkness. He could remember collapsing after a brief shower and he vaguely remembered something about mice. Everything after that became a blur though he had an odd feeling that something soft and warm had touched him.

“What? Nothing happened last night, Cas,” he said, aware that his voice was far rougher than necessary but he felt like he was being strangled by panic. Cas stared at him for a moment longer and Dean felt his stomach twist when Cas finally looked away, his face suddenly becoming unreadable.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” he said, his words cold and stiff and Dean scrambled for something to say, something to fix this as Cas turned away.

“You didn’t,” he almost shouted and Cas stopped. He didn’t turn around but considering the circumstances Dean couldn’t really blame him. He was just happy that Cas had stopped. “I was just surprised.” His voice was still strained but at least he’d managed to get it back to a normal volume.

  
They stood in silence. Dean waited at first for Cas to say something but when it became obvious that he wasn’t going to he searched his mind for something else to say. Cas’s shoulders were still tense.

“Goodnight Dean,” Cas said finally and Dean watched helplessly as Cas vanished into his bedroom, the door closing firmly behind him. Dean stood there for another minute and stared at the door before he turned, picked up his bag and headed for his own room.

He went through the motions of getting ready for bed but once he was under the blanket he felt wide awake. Cas’s words ran circles around his mind and he found himself tossing and turning for the better part of an hour before he gave up. Cas had said that Dean had said that first but he had no recollection of it. Dean frowned up at his ceiling in the dark and strained his mind, hoping something would come to him. He still couldn’t remember if he’d said anything but he suddenly remembered how Cas had acted all day, how weird he had been when Dean had woken up. Dean abruptly sat up in bed and threw the blanket off him. He needed answers.

It didn’t occur to him that Cas might have been asleep until after he’d rushed out of his room and knocked on Cas’s door. He waited for a moment, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, wondering if he should just go back to his room and wait until morning when the door opened slowly in front of him.

Cas looked as dreadful as Dean felt. His hair, already usually messy, stuck up in odd angles as though Cas had been tossing and turning. His face was pale and the bruises under his eyes looked as though they’d darkened in the hour since Dean had last seen them. The worst part was how Cas watched him though. He appeared wary, as though waiting for Dean to either turn back around or accuse Cas of lying about earlier.

Dean went to say something to calm him but when he opened his mouth he found no words. They merely stood there staring at one another until Cas shifted awkwardly.

“Was there something you wanted, Dean?” he asked and Dean winced. He took a deep breath and looked away from Cas instead focusing on the room behind him as he thought of something to say.

“About what happened last night…” Dean’s voice trailed off as he stared at Cas’s bed, a mess to prove that Cas had indeed being tossing and turning. The blanket had been thrown back across the bed and Dean stared at it long enough for Cas to frown at him and lift a hand slowly before lowering it again and instead calling to Dean.

“Dean? What is it?”

“The blanket. Last night, I woke up and you were pulling a blanket over me,” Dean said slowly and Cas stiffened. “Didn’t you?” he asked, turning to look at Cas who was now studiously looking at his bare feet.

“I might have,” he eventually said and Dean paused, not knowing how to continue.

“I said it then, didn’t I?”

Cas looked up at him then, his face still unreadable as he stared at Dean in silence. “I called you sweetheart and fell back asleep. That’s why you’ve been so quiet today.”

Cas nodded and Dean found himself nodding along. He hadn’t been expecting himself to say all that and now his mouth felt far too dry.

“I thought… I thought you remembered and were wanting me to say it too,” Cas said and Dean hesitated. The air around them suddenly felt thick and heavy. One wrong word would ruin this with no chance of fixing it, so Dean took his time thinking. He nodded slightly to let Cas know he’d heard before he frowned, unable to think of anything to say.

“Did you want to say it?” Cas asked, his voice stronger than earlier and Dean looked up to see Cas watching him intently, his shoulders straighter.

“I –” Dean’s throat was too dry, even if he could find the words he doubted he’d be able to actually spit them out. Something along those lines must have registered in his face because Cas’s expression softened with sympathy and then, slowly, he lifted his hand until his fingers were brushing the back of Dean’s hand.

Dean glanced down and after a moment, he turned his hand. Cas wasn’t moving, waiting for Dean to make the choice. Dean took a deep breath and, without looking up at Cas, he reached out and slowly slipped his fingers in between Cas’s, bringing their palms together. A long moment passed and then Cas squeezed Dean’s hand gently and Dean felt his shoulders relax. He glanced up and found Cas watching him, something painfully vulnerable in his face. He hated seeing it there – the idea that Cas could be scared of Dean, of what he could do to Cas was too much – and so he did the only thing he could think of in order to get rid of it and reassure Cas. He tightened his grip and squeezed Cas’s hand.

“So,” Dean said after a long silence where they stood there staring at one another, smiles slowly growing on their faces.

“I’m rather tired,” Cas said, his voice louder in the hallway than Dean was expecting after the last few minutes. Belatedly Dean realised that Cas hadn’t slept well, if at all, last night and looked half dead on his feet now.

“Right,” he said, the sudden change in conversation throwing him and he had no idea where to go from here. He looked down at their hands and realised that for Cas to go to bed Dean would have to let go. For something that he hadn’t been doing for long at all, he found the idea of letting go almost unbearable.

And then Cas was squeezing his hand once more and tugging very gently. Dean looked up and found Cas looking at him with his eyebrow raised slightly.

“Aren’t you?” he asked and he took a step backwards, towards his room where his bed was still visible through the doorway, without letting go of Dean’s hand.

Dean’s heart gave a leap which resulted in what felt like it lodging itself in Dean’s throat which might explain the almost choked noise he let out when he realised what Cas meant.

“I – yes,” he managed to say before Cas’s answering smile blinded him. He stumbled forward as Cas tugged him into his room, the door closing behind them with a gentle click. The air suddenly seemed heavier, the room smaller and Dean couldn’t meet Cas’s eyes anymore. He felt as if he couldn’t breathe and he tightened his grip on Cas’s hand, trusting Cas to not let him go.

Cas guided him to the bed before he sat down and looked up at Dean who was still standing. The space beside Cas appeared too large and daunting but a quick look back at Cas and Dean’s twisting stomach settled. His blue eyes were wide and understanding, a gentle smile softening his face and without thinking Dean sat down next to him.

“Is this alright?” Cas asked, his voice low and Dean turned to face him, his own lips curling up into a smile.

“Yeah, Cas,” he said and Cas’s own smile grew. They sat there for a long moment before Cas cleared his throat and stood up to push the blankets further down the bed. He gestured for Dean to climb in and he followed him before turning out the bedside lamp.

Once they were settled under the blankets, Dean twisted onto his side and reached out to catch Cas’s hand in his once more. He could just make out Cas’s face in the dark and he could no longer resist, not with Cas so close and warm and inviting. Dean shuffled forward so he could lean in to kiss him but his aim was off and he caught the corner of Cas’s lips instead and Cas laughed, his chest shaking and his lips pulled upward and Dean could feel Cas’s smile against his cheek.

Cas’s free hand reached up and slid between Dean’s cheek and the pillow and tilted his head a little and then Dean felt Cas’s lips pressed against his. His eyes slid shut and he struggled to breathe as Cas pressed more firmly against him, first his lips and then Dean felt Cas shuffle forward until their chests were pressed together and Cas’s legs were tangling with his own. Dean couldn’t have stopped the moan building in him if he’d tried and his free hand wrapped itself in Cas’s shirt, trying to tug him even closer.

Eventually they pulled apart to breathe and Dean panted, leaning forward to rub his nose against Cas’s. He laughed when he felt Cas smile again though his laugh quickly turned into a yawn which caused Cas to laugh in turn.

“I think that’s our sign,” he said quietly and Dean nodded. Cas pulled his hand free of Dean’s and, before Dean could complain, wrapped his arm around Dean’s waist instead. Dean curled in closer, his cheek resting against Cas’s shoulder and soon he found his eyelids slipping shut.

“G’night, Cas,” he mumbled as sleep began to wash over him. He heard Cas murmur his own goodnight and he smiled before slipping under.

“Goodnight sweetheart.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed that! This was posted on my tablet as I'm overseas. I will tidy this up when I get home.


End file.
